


Fenris Gets Hitched

by belgukr



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Self-Indulgent, fenhawke - Freeform, lapslock, the side pairings are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3643932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belgukr/pseuds/belgukr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>everyone is invited to the big day.</p><p>(fenris makes the best bride. he will be stunning in that dress, geometry be damned.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fenris Gets Hitched

fenris spends a lot of time looking at wedding pictures. secretly.  
  
so he's not completely ignorant. he knows how weddings with two men typically go.  
  
but... that dress.  
  
he spent three hours aimlessly browsing on, well, _wedding sites_ , until he found this  _dress_. he wasn't even looking for one. he's never put a dress on before in his life, as far as he knows.  
  
_but that dress_.  
  
he calls aveline as soon as he sees it.  
  
"aveline, you were married once, correct?"  
  
"there had better be a damn good reason you woke me up just to remind me of that, fenris."  
  
"i found a dress," fenris says, very importantly.  
  
aveline pauses a few seconds before firmly saying, "i'm not getting married again just to wear some dress you found in a thrift shop."  
  
"okay, no, that's not even slightly what i was saying." fenris zooms in on the page he has open on his computer. "it's just so beautiful. i need it in my wedding."  
  
"hold on.  _your wedding?_ don't tell me you actually think hawke is husband material."  
  
fenris thinks of those puns hawke used on him when they first got together.  _"hey, fenris, i got a new scarf. isn't it nice? it's made out of boyfriend material! haha!"_  
  
"hm. perhaps you are right about that."  
  
"and is this really all about a dress? who would even wear it? i think bethany prefers pants... and isabela doesn't even like that much clothing, the harlot."  
  
" _i_ would wear it, of course," fenris says, indignant. "and that's the wrong hawke, anyway."  
  
aveline starts muttering, something about  _what did you do with fenris_. "okay, look. show me the damn dress. email me a picture or something. i can't take this any more."  
  
"yeah, i did that. listen, i wasn't sure how i felt about white. i thought i would probably spill something on it way too early in the day, or it would make me look like an old man or something..."  
  
"you will be a beautiful bride," aveline says quietly. "the most beautiful bride... groom... whatever. who cares about that part, anyway?"

* * *

after aveline hangs up on him - "some of us have _jobs_ in the morning, you know" - he sits quietly, alone in his room, thinking about hawke, as usual.  
  
hawke would be an excellent groom, he thinks. he would look nice in a suit.  
  
he calls hawke up.  
  
"hey, fenris," hawke says when he answers. (fenris is pretty sure he can feel the emoticon hearts through the tiny speaker, but he has important business to take care of.)  
  
"hawke! i have an important question to ask you."  
  
"yes? you can ask me anything, you know."  
  
"ugh, i could hear at least three smileys in that statement." fenris is disgusted. why did he ever think hawke would be a good groom? aveline was right all along.  
  
"oh, sorry. i was just happy because you never call me. so, what's up? what do you need?"  
  
fenris remembers _: oh, right, it's because hawke says stuff like that and of course best husbands make their spouses feel welcome or whatever. i mean, it's in the job description, right after "portable heater," and in fenris's limited experience, hawke is a good heater._  
  
"well, it's more that i need to talk to you," fenris starts.  
  
"oh, ominous. hey, should i get popcorn? you can tell me whatever it is afterward. unless... it's important?" hawke trails off.  
  
"no, it's okay. that sounds like a good idea." fenris does love popcorn. "but i don't think this is something i should ask on the phone. i'll... tell you tomorrow."  
  
"alright..." hawke sounds a little concerned.  
  
"i am... unprepared for this. i apologize."  
  
"it's nothing bad, is it?"  
  
"no!... if you're really that curious, think about what i've already said. maybe you'll figure it out before i see you again."

* * *

varric pays hawke a visit the next afternoon.  
  
"what the fuck?" he says. "why didn't you tell me you were going to do this, fenris? i could've helped you plan something big and elaborate. not... accidentally dropping it in his cereal."

"it's too late now. shut up, tethras."  
  
hawke is still hiding his face in his arms. "oh my god," he says quietly. "i love you, fenris."  
  
"well. as long as you're happy, hawke," varric says sincerely.  
  
"this is an absurd conversation," fenris says. "i'm going to go plan my wedding." he tosses his head a little and makes like a tree.  
  
"no, come back," hawke says, reaching blindly.  
  
"let him recover some dignity," varric says, not laughing at all.  
  
hawke picks his head up a few minutes after fenris leaves. "hey, varric?"  
  
"what's up, my platonic chum?"  
  
"will you be..." - hawke's eyes are just a little bit misty - "my best man?"  
  
varric bursts out laughing. "why, hawke, i would be delighted."  
  
"oh, good. i didn't want to ask carver."

* * *

 

that night, hawke rolls around in his big, empty bed. his dog isn't even in the room; he went to sleep in the hall or whatever.  _loser. i'm the one with the comfy bed._  
  
the big, empty, _comfy_ bed.  
  
with a fenris-shaped space, somewhere between here and there.  
  
"every time i try to find it," hawke whispers, "it just opens up somewhere else!" he thinks way too hard about that statement, thinking it's profound or something, and sits up suddenly, reaching for his phone.  
  
"fenris!" he yells, as soon as fenris picks up.  
  
"w... what." fenris sounds bleary.  
  
"oh! did i wake you up?"  
  
"no, i was... planning... what do you want, hawke? and don't start singing that dreadful christmas song."  
  
"there isn't time for that. i just remembered... i didn't pass geometry in high school. i was too busy sleeping!"  
  
"really? it was the same for me. huh." fenris sounds a little amused, like he thinks hawke is just saying random sleepy things. well, he'll show him. "but... why did you call me for this?" he stifles a yawn.  
  
"i was thinking, okay, my bed is pretty big. if i want to sleep on it, which i do, it has to be, you know, a workable size. and you're a decent height, too, i suppose-"  
  
"excuse me?"  
  
"i love your height; it's exactly perfect! and i also love your hair and your nose even though i know you don't like it, and- wait, i'm going off on a tangent."  
  
"hold on. i thought you slept through geometry?"  
  
"i did, but... wait, but you did, too!"  
  
"so then why do we both know what a tangent is?" fenris whispers. "it must be mystical... and i fucking hate magic."  
  
"oh, shush. it's probably not even like that at all. anyway, my point. my main point. ok, so, i'm no good at geometry, but i know there's just too much space on my bed, even after i lay down, and you would be just right for it. wait, i'm not saying you take up a lot of space. i just meant it's you-shaped. the extra space. it has your name on it. metaphorically, anyway. or literally, if i give it a name card..."  
  
"hawke," fenris mutters.  
  
"mm, yes?"  
  
fenris hears the scratch of a pen on the other side. "do you like sleepovers?"  
  
"yes! that's exactly the word i was looking for. do you think we're ready for that?"  
  
"certainly. chaste though we are with each other, i literally proposed marriage to you. i'm pretty sure it's well within our rights. unless you wish to be the kind of spouse who makes me sleep in the dog house. i don't think i would like that."  
  
"i would never do that! there wouldn't even be any space if my dog was already sleeping there. at most, i would tell you to take the couch. and after a while i would probably just join you anyway and we would watch movies until 4 am."  
  
_right_ , fenris thinks.  _that was why i wanted to marry him._  
  
he doesn't say anything for a little bit; then: "i'm in love with you."  
  
"yes! i was hoping so!" hawke laughs. "my heart emojis are mutual. now, are you coming over here or what? make sure you hang up before you leave. i don't want you to get hurt because you were distracted."  
  
"uh. i actually left a couple minutes ago."  
  
"the fuck, fenris! that's not safe."  
  
"it's okay, i can-"  
  
"no! i'm hanging up now, okay? and we can talk in person. that's even better than on the phone."  
  
fenris sighs, knowing he's right. "okay... i'll try not to do it anymore."  
  
"thank you." hawke hangs up.

* * *

the day of the wedding is beautiful.  
  
for a while.  
  
the entire event is flawless; hawke in his suit with way too many flowers tucked into more crevices than is recommended, fenris finally in his silvery gown, visibly vibrating with excitement. isabela is jealous of that dress. when aveline makes another joke about pants, isabela just scowls and whispers something fenris is probably glad he doesn't hear, because aveline goes red. redder than usual, that is.  
  
surprisingly enough, carver is also jealous of the damn dress. "i don't know why, but it's..." carver shakes his head. "this is ridiculous."  
  
merrill touches a hem of the dress and gasps. "turn it down a notch, cinderella!"  
  
"his name is fenris, though?" hawke mutters to himself.  
  
"well... at least i get to go home with the prince," fenris shrugs. "cinderella must be lacking something."  
  
bethany goes "oooooh" in the background.  
  
merrill puts her hand on her chest. "i'm sorry, fenris. i just wanted to say something sassy. i didn't expect to be sassed back... the fu... carver, help." she's trying not to laugh, but looks sincere nonetheless.  
  
carver stumbles for something to say before finally settling on, "well... if my brother is a prince... which he's not! but if he was, then i must also be a prince. if so... fenris isn't the only one who might go home with a prince, you know?" a few moments pass before his blush takes over his face.  
  
bethany starts whooping.  
  
varric slinks past, whispering, "smooth moves, dude."  
  
merrill does a really good fish impression.  
  
none of it matters, though, because fenris has aleady left, distracted by pie. there is pie, at his damn wedding. he is in love with hawke, and there's pie at his wedding, and he's wearing a dress.  
  
hawke's big brown dog hasn't even broken anything. if anyone breaks any tables, he expects it to be anders, honestly. both him and that guy he brings - nolan? ness? something like that. they're likely to break at least one thing.  
  
just as fenris has those thoughts, the rain starts. it's just a little trickle at first, but aveline starts yelling about omens and dives to save all the presents. she hauls them indoors like a champion.  
  
hawke finds fenris in the slight chaos the rain causes and gives him his suit jacket - an attempt to keep fenris's beautiful attire even slightly drier than possible.  
  
they start tossing leftover pie at seagulls. the seagulls are indignant at first; then they realize they can eat the "artillery."

"i sort of feel bad about them," hawke says, licking his fingers. blueberry still stains them, but it's the thought that counts. "we could've at least given them plates."  
  
"then what? little boat napkins? maybe a chicken can serve them all pie." fenris snickers. "or would they be hawks?"  
  
"i literally can't even believe you went there. i'm getting  _married_ today, and you talk to me like this?"  
  
after another minute, hawke forces fenris to go back inside. they both manage to trip on their own shoes on the way back inside, but they're fortunate enough to stay upright, more or less. inside the dining building, our heroes fight their way through the adoring crowd and find a bathroom to change into some less expensive clothes. fenris even puts pants back on.  
  
"i wasn't looking forward to that," fenris notes.  
  
"neither was i," hawke admits.  
  
then these idiots go back outside. their photographer has a field day, though. they're both barefoot and, of course, just  _have_ to go around splashing in every puddle. hawke brings an umbrella but throws it off to the side, immediately forgotten. it's so romantic, even hawke's boss meredith would shed a tear, had she bothered to attend. or be invited.  
  
once they've had their fun, they go back inside for real this time. the photographer cries a little; he always was an odd one, that bodhan, but fenris likes him and that's good enough.  
  
varric is talking to a very cute but very tough-looking woman who hawke needs to question varric about. later. is this the fabled bianca??  
  
hawke forgets about this observation almost as soon as he makes it, but isabela and aveline are nowhere to be seen. he remembers that fenris put them next to each other during the ceremony - aveline, maid of honor (or is she counted as a matron of honor?), and the bridesmaids isabela and merrill. he doesn't know why fenris thought that was a good idea; what if they're off dueling or something and end up killing each other? at his  _wedding?_  
  
those thoughts are pushed aside quickly. of course - wedding. bethany just wanted to be the flower girl so she could throw assorted petals and flowers at everyone and everything, which apparently included hawke's entire body.  
  
hawke could care less.  
  
no time to worry about flowers. (although fenris  _does_ look cute with those pink flowers caught in his hair. i mean, look at him.)  
  
hawke kisses him just for the heck of it. because he can. fenris smiles a little; he swears he doesn't, but he always does that.  
  
merrill bullies fenris into throwing a bouquet over his shoulder. by some fluke of nature, it hits anders directly in the face and drops into his lap. ned or neil or whoever it is laughs until his face turns red.

**Author's Note:**

> (in chalk, legible even after the downpour)
> 
> THE FENRIS N HAWKE BIG LUVLY WEDDIN G DAY!!!!
> 
> all r invited :3 bring spirit, and spirits
> 
> -isabela


End file.
